5.10.08

endless nights, better days

Each night seems to be the longest night of my life not because I am always staying up late at night reading lectures of my professors or doing assignments or finishing a machine problem but because of feeling tired and toxic. Unlike any other day that I had, this feeling inside me keeps on growing each day. Feeling homesick might contribute to this feeling. My not so good work management on things I have to finish might tired me to death. Too much commitment might intoxicate me to feel this way.

I told myself that I was strong but I was wrong. I thought that I was superman who can do everything but my alter-ego so powerful to weaken me as human being only.

I realized that not all things in life are meant to be. Life is meant to be.

I realized that not everything is a piece of cake, sometimes the cake can't be sliced to pieces.

I realized all of these but still I am stubborn to believe it. The rebel in me always wanted to fight back.

I guess I just have to continue to live my life the way I survive it. Maybe I am just tired.

Should I live this way? Do I need guidance to give me direction?

Now I am walking along the dark side of the tunnel. No lights, no ends. Trusting the rebel in me in leading the way.

30 comments:

Hannah said...

Maybe you are just too tired Aethen doing your school works. Take it easy though it's not easy on you. :D

Life's like that. Always smile.

Aethen said...

I got fever last two days. I was in bed for almost 3 days because I feel sick. Hay. I need to be superman again. time to rebel. :D

Yes, will always smile, hannah.

Thank you for the comment.

Lawstude said...

Bro, you are burnt-out. A change in environment would certainly refresh you. Ingats lagi.

the donG said...

ganyan talaga pag estudyante. sa trabaho ganun pa din naman pero mas rewarding na kasi may sweldo. hehehe....

ako usually pumapayat pag malapit na ang finals.

Hector MiƱoza said...

ha ha kapatid you're getting near to your inner self..

better do MEDITATION, this will help YOU feel cool and relax

bad mind ha? :)

Aethen said...

@lawstud - yes, burnt-out superb. not so long, i'll be having my break. need to treat myself some good time. :D

Aethen said...

the dong - sobrang pumapayat na nga ako kuya dong. hay. cguro ganyan lng tlga pag-estudyante. ganun lng tlga. Oo ganun lng tlga. Hehehe. Kulit. :D Salamat.

Aethen said...

Kuya hecky - inner self. inside it tired also kuya. hehe. Yeah, meditation is best cguro. will have time for it kuya. thanks. yeah. need to be cool again. relax? - not familiar word. Kidding. Hehehe.

See you in the summit, kuya. :D

sho said...

Hang in there bro! I'm doing so by the cell of my fingers. Lol. Until the reno saga is over, the moving fever begins admists preparing my kids for yr end and national exams.

btw, I'll b in Manila 3-9 Nov. Dong & I might meet up. U there?

Abou said...

kulang ka lang sa lambing parekoy ha ha

siraniks said...

need mo ng mga advices sa mga matatanda... hehe... baka may kryptonite sa kama mo tanggalin mo muna para lalakas ulit si superman... hehe...

take care always, always smile para di ka ma-sick... when brain smiles, body also smiles.

jericho said...

just keep on. you'll find it somehow. ;)

Aethen said...

@sho - I'll be back from the island of Mindanao in Mnaila on Nov3 so maybe i'll be there in meet up but we will see. Thanks for the invite just keep me updated. :D

Aethen said...

@abou - oo nga parekoy kulang lng ako siguro sa lambing. :D
* sana may lalambing sa akin.,

Aethen said...

@siraniks - I destroyed the kryptonite already, nash. secreto lng natin 'to ha - na ako si superman. :D Lols.

Aethen said...

@jericho - yeah, will find it soon. hay. thanks bro.

wiLfRed said...

pakamatay ka naaa! lolx. anyhoo, kaya mo yan.. wag kang padadaig, always look at the bright side of life.. isipin mo lang lagi na may gwapo kang friend around the corner.. AHEMMMMNNNNNN..

Wilfred John said...

Ang yabang! Oo cge kaya ko ito. kakayanin. Lols. Salamat sa concern at angas mo. Hahahaa. Adik.

RONeiluke, RN said...

this post reminded me of lex luthor of smallville because of the 'alter-ego' concept...

well the world is not divided into black and white... we always have a choice. let's just keep the faith that we would be able to balance things to better ourselves :)

gogogo!

---

off the record, the voting is now open for the e[kwento]mo: emo writing contest. i almost forgot that i passed an entry—lamentations of a withered tin can. if you liked it, don’t hesitate to drop by this site and vote. voting will proceed until october 17 (friday). there are 15 entries from 15 aspiring emo bloggers. so if you have time, it would be nice if you check us out :)

http://kundiman.net/ekwentomo-entries/

aethen said...

I sometimes can't fight my "other self", the rebellious one. Anyhoo, will be living as one. Will choose as one. Will be fighting as one. ang drama naman ng pagiging feeling low and toxic ko. Hehehe.

Yeah. the world is black and white but sometimes it turns to gray.

Yes, better ourselves.

Good luck to your entry in being an emo blogger.

RONeiluke, RN said...

i always believed that there's this rebel within us... but its a part of us. it might not be completely bad for us but somehow gives us courage to challenge our boundaries considering our conscious standards.

gray is good. black is bad and white doesn't exist. heheeh!

thanks for your vote :) mate :)

Aethen said...

Am the rebel testing my limit. Yes you are right in saying that the rebel is not completely bad for us sometimes they just need time to be free or else the rebel in them will also come out. It is good that you control them still.

Good luck. hope you'll win the emo contest. :D

Jehzeel Laurente said...

matulog ka ng isang linggo para masaya :)

Cielo said...

dumarating talaga sa atin ang mga ganyang moments...yung you feel down and blue...I hope that you will get over with it soon. Get your ME time bro, baka masyado ka ng pagod. Slow down a bit.

Daniel Dumas said...

wahehe pareho tayo kaso ako sadya lang di makatulog ewan ko kung bakit hehe

Aethen said...

@jehzeel Laurente - Hahaha. Grabe na gani bawi ko tulog. Gasakit man ulo ko pag masobrahan ka tulog pero nakabulig man gud. :D

Aethen said...

@te Ceilo - Yes, mabe pagod lng tlga ako ng sobra. am treating myself to the max eh. sarap ng feeling pero dont want to over do it. thank you, te ceilo. Miss you. :D

Aethen said...

@Daniel Dumas - ako sa sobrang tulog hindi na nga makatulog eh. Hehe. Masaya naman ako. sanay na ako sa mga ganitong pagsubok. :D

triZzZ said...

hi kuya.(:

so things aren't right for you either? I feel the same way at the moment.Thank God, sembreak na.

natural lang yan na mapagod ka, ang dami mo kasing commitments eh!

here's a tip. Take every commitment as a compliment. Like, you have these commitments because you are being trusted by people.Para magkaroon ka ng motivation diba. Ay, HAVE A BREAK. that's the best thing to do, and learn to say no.

Nakakasawa na, pero wala tayong magagawa, that's part of living.

Chillax lang.
(:

Aethen said...

Yes, learn to say, NO! Hehe. No, I can do it. Hehehe. Tigas ng ulo noh?

Thanks trip. went home. will be having a break. :D