the king and the prince
“Mothers give their sons permission to be a prince but the father must show him how…”
I am a prince, and my father's the king and it was his birthday yesterday.It was tatay's 52nd birthday yesterday. Last day also was the first time I greeted him heart-fully and spoken to him the words, I love you and thank you but was not emotional. Yes, I have never been that expressive and open to him since the end of his dictatorship – last year, I received self-declared freedom and signed a mutual treaty with him that both would raise a white flag and surrender our armaments.
It was an absolute relief having revived the healthy relationship with him but I am also missing the silent and strategic battle we fought against each other. Funny but that was how we dealt with each other over the past years. He had almost always opposed my ideas and my philosophies never ceased to contrast with his. We seldom meet in the center and agree for one thing –save, maybe food preference.
Now that I am far from home, I am starting to miss our wordless and indirect conversation, testing each other to submit and surrender. This is the exciting part in playing with my tatay's game of schemes and tactics. He had been trying to make me give up, but it was a futile attempt for I am as strong and stubborn as him that I would hardly be defeated. In fact when I was in my third year in college, we have never talked to each other for almost two years even though both of us were staying in the same roof, eating in the same table, and seeing each other every day. When one needs something to other (vice versa), it has to be channeled through nanay, my mother, the mediator. When I need allowance, I run to nanay and she'll get it to father. And when my tatay needs to address or preach things on me, he would get drunk with his friends and before he gets to sleeps, he would start his lectures and sentiments while I just sleep and let every word go in and out of my ears.
Yeah, I know I am bad and so he is. But hey, never mistake that this is deep-in-the-heart war between us. Perhaps maybe this is just our way of expressing and showing how we love each other. My tatay had has all my respect though we deal with each other this way. Possibly he is just overdoing his being a bank manager at home and I am just practicing being an authoritative leader to him which is the-not-me in school. The combination in home that will never work for peace if both continue to be those characters.
If not because of him, I might not be what and where I am now. But don't be mistaken I did not surrender yet and I just lowered my guards. We just became more friends.
So he is the king, and I will take what he has given me and grow with it. I am acknowledging his importance, is a fact I must surrender to.
Now, I understand why our relationship with our fathers will inevitably be vital in shaping our characters, much more our life. Many of us may have pains and resentments in this kind of relationship and we may have wanted more than what they gave us, or longed for praises, or have the assurance that we measured up with their expectations; we might come in conflict with them and their ideals, but they do not necessarily want to dictate or impose over our lives. They just want us to be the kings of our life.
Well, I am changing this relationship not by asking him to be different but by being mature and responsible enough to take his lessons for me. This became a new doorway of me for I know that soon I'll be a father of a child/ren whom I'll be nurturing, loving, and caring.
Happy Birthday, tay.
Comments
ur damn lucky
anyhoo, let's thank our fathers and show them we love them.. if not for them, we wouldn't have come to be.. :D
Happy new year to your father..may he be blessed with more years of bliss, love, and peace. *winks*
may corrections na naman ako sa post mo, bwehehehe, e-mail ko nalang sayo..
@jericho - good that this post made you missed your dad. tc
@fReD - I spoken those words on the phone. I might not be able to tell him those words vis-a-vis.
btw, Salamat sa corrections. matututo na ako sa susunod. Salamat uli.
pero natawa ako dito..
"Yeah, I know I am bad and so he is."
hahaha!!
ganyan din kami ng tatay ko.. i guess ganun lang din ang tatay sa anak niyang lalaki.. or akala ko nga dato sa mga panganay lang na gaya ko..
http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com
@fjordz -tatay ko ganun talaga. minsan nga sinumpa ko sya na mawala na sa mundo eh. hehe. pero binawi ko din kasi mahal namin sya. hehe. pero masaya ang makipag-away sa tatay natin lalo na pagpalaban at ayaw magpatalo ang isa. hehe. Nakakamiss nga eh.
Mabuhay ang mga tatay nating pasaway. :D
mabuhay ang mga mababait at responsableng anak! ;))
God bless!
P.S. It's the 29th Manila International Book Fair at SMX Convention Center.You going?=)
@wanderer - haha. kung pareha tayo ng tatay, ikaw kuya ko ha?! haha.
Salamat sa pagbati sa hari. :D
Happy b-day sa Tatay mo… nice post from the heart
i so love these lines.. hardcore!
:)
naalala ko ung Pop ko,
we're not in good terms right now,
he just found out a couple of months ago that the reason why i won't give him a grandchild is,
ang mga nakakaulayaw ko, walang matris,
=P
thanks for sharing.
btw, nakakaulayaw = na-asawa mo? :D
Thank you for droppin by.
Please do add my other blogs youre already there.
http://shzainzy.blogspot.com
http://shzainzy2.blogspot.com
http://shzainzy3.blogspot.com
http://shzainzy4.blogspot.com
http://shzainzy5.blogspot.com
ThaNKs a lot!
naluha ako dun ah!
hehe
you made me miss my dad mark.
though late ko ng nabasa to, this should be immortalized in our hearts and minds.
my tatay died when i was in 2nd year high and was not able to have healthy and precious moments as well.
sayang coz in the later years i longed for a dad. but it was how God wrote his and my life.
It's for the better i bet.
thanks for the post.
Quincy, time let us really realized how important someone in our life. It is sad that time plays with us in making us realize those simple things. When one thing is gone, we start to notice its not being present. But this how life works, This how God design life. This is His will.
Thanks for reading my thoughts.
I love this line.....
anyway, sa isang parent if your dad can read this, i know by now he will be misty eyed no matter how tough he might be...he will fell a "kurot in his puso" :)
sometimes kids are like that...my teen daughter is also not impressive of how she feel towards me, at times I feel that I am unreciprocated, but her friendster says it all...luv nya pala ako...and her bestfriend can also attest that mg Ishi often speaks fondly of her family and how lucky she is for having me and her paps as her parents.
take care mommy.
--->amen, mark! finally, had the chance to read this. was looking hardly for this post. :)