listen and trust

While reading the blogs of Jackie and kidglove, I came to realize simple things that will make me a better person if I will learn to do it. Though I heard these advices and learning from ayel and my advisers many times, I think it’s high time for me to pay attention seriously on to it.

Learn to listen.

“Start by listening to yourself and pondering about what you are really trying to achieve. This, in itself, can be a startling revelation. Then think about what the other person is hearing, and the meaning they are deriving from what you say. Watch also the questions they are using -- are they pumping you for information that they will soon use to their advantage?
Learn to listen to others in a way that gets you the information that you need. Learn to ask questions that opens them up to providing useful data. Good listening will also create rapport and bonding, where the other person comes to like you more and hence becomes more open to your ideas when it is your turn to speak.” - thoughts from Jackie

Learn to trust.

Speaking about trust, the book, Reaching Out by David W. Johnson, has some helpful hints about trust which I have also observed in the interaction of the participants:
  1. Trust is a very complex concept to understand. It may take a while before we fully understand it.
  2. Trust exists in relationships, not in someone’s personality. While some people are more naturally trusting than others, and it is easier for some people to be trustworthy than others, trust is something that occurs between people, not within people.
  3. Trust is constantly changing as two people interact. Everything you do affects the trust level between you and the other person to some extent
  4. Trust is hard to build and easy to destroy. It may take years to build up a high level of trust in a relationship, then one destructive act can ruin it all.
  5. The key to building and maintaining trust is being trustworthy. The more accepting and supportive you are of others, the more likely they will disclose their thoughts, ideas, theories, conclusions, feelings, and reactions to you. The more trustworthy you are in response to such disclosures, the deeper and more personal the thoughts of a person will share with you. When you want to increase trust, increase your trustworthiness.
  6. Trust needs to be appropriate. Never trusting and always trusting are inappropriate
  7. Cooperation increases trust, competition decreases trust. Trust generally is higher among collaborators than among competitors.
  8. Initial trusting and trustworthy actions within a relationship can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The expectations you project about trust often influence the actions of other people toward you.

-kidglove learnings from Malapascua experience.

I’ll be working on it. Thanks for the insights. I’ll know learn to listen and trust other person who deserves it. God bless.

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